Then and Now

Sooo… guess what? 

I am not pregnant anymore! Yay! 

Instead, I have a beautiful new baby boy named Ty who is lighting up our lives on the outside now. 

He joined this incredible world on October 4th at 1:42pm and has been eating and sleeping ever since. 

Before he was born, I was chatting with a very special friend of mine named Cassie and she said to me that second babies are the best. I loved hearing her say that because part of me was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to hack it being a mom of 2. When I had Toby, it was a really challenging time and I really, REALLY didn’t want to experience that again. 

What I have noticed since having Ty is that I agree with her. Second babies are the best. I have more confidence this time around. I have done it once before. I believe in myself and my abilities and genuinely think that I am a darn good mom. 

Another thing that I have noticed is that my anxiety this time around is way less. WAY less. And my brain tells me the reason I have less anxiety is because I have done this before. That this isn’t my first rodeo. 

Although these are in fact true statements, they are not the reason for less anxiety.

Less anxiety is due to the fact that my thoughts this time around are WAY different.

I am not saying

“I don’t know what to do”

“I can’t do this”

“This is too hard for me”

anymore. 

Instead, I am thinking

“I can figure anything out”

“I am a really good mom”

“No matter what happens, I am always going to have my own back”

Because of these shifts in thought patterns, my anxiety is not overpowering and all-consuming. 

Now by no means am I making anxiety out to be this not so great thing. Even though at times it really feels like it is. Anxiety is simply an emotion that is caused by my thoughts and it’s okay when I have it. It doesn’t mean something is wrong.

In fact, anxiety plays a very important role in our lives. Anxiety is a necessary emotion as its presence keeps us safe. It keeps us from doing things that would harm us. We like anxiety for these reasons. We need it in order to put our bodies into action when danger appears. 

However, because our brain’s don’t know the difference between what is real danger and what is perceived danger, we, the humans, need to be in control of when we allow anxiety to be in charge. 

When we have a new baby and our brain tells us “you’re not going to be able to do this” which causes anxiety, it’s simple to see that we don’t need this anxiety. It’s not helping us.

So we can lovingly tell our brain “we hear you but we don’t need your protection at the moment. We are safe and not in any danger. We simply have a new baby”. 

And when we are about to cross the street and a big truck comes out of nowhere, and our brain tells us “you are not safe, get out of here”, we can accept that anxiety as helpful and necessary and use it to help us take action fast. Thank you anxiety. You’ve done your job.

See the difference?

I used to wish that I didn’t have anxiety. I felt it ruined my life and made it so much harder to be happy. And sometimes I still notice myself thinking that way and that’s okay. Totally normal for my brain to revert back to old thinking patterns.

However, now I can see that anxiety plays a role and I don’t want to eliminate it for that reason. As well as I know that I create anxiety with my mind and therefore I am in charge. So if I want to get rid of it, I can. 

So empowering. 

What are your thoughts about your anxiety? Do you wish it would take a hike and fast? 

If you want help with your anxiety because it’s currently driving the bus, I’m your girl. I’ve been there, I get you and I can 100% help you. 100%.