Sometimes I am killin' it at life, and other times - not so much.

Parenting is one of those beautiful things where I notice that sometimes I feel like I am killing it and other times not so much. 

How come that is?

I know exactly why. 

The reason my opinion of myself fluctuates, is because I base my “goodness” on things outside of ME. Which I now know, will never, ever, ever work. 

I notice that I use:

• How Toby is acting. 
• What meals I have made. 
• How clean the house is. 
• What my mood is (ie, how patient and loving am I being)
• How much outside time and meaningful activities Toby has been involved in. 

to validate how good I am. So basically in order for me to believe I am killing it at motherhood, I have to make sure I control every single thing that is going on around me to make sure it is ‘just right’. 

To make sure that I am ‘just right’.

That’s a lot of pressure. 

And pressure that at one time felt like it was happening to me but now I know that it’s not. Instead, I am choosing to put this pressure on myself. 

No more I say. 

I am going to believe that I am killing it at being a parent - no - matter - what. You know why? Because it feels sooooooo good. And the opposite feels terrible. 

Let me show you what I mean my sharing a personal experience:

Here are the facts

Toby ate cheerios and raisins for dinner. 

I think:

I should be giving him healthier meals. 

Thinking this makes me feel: 

Guilty

When I feel guilty I…

Beat myself up, say negative things about myself in my mind, judge myself, look for evidence of other times I have given ‘unhealthy’ meals.

Which creates an experience for me where:

I believe I should be a better mom than I am. 

And this, feels awful.

SO powerful when I realize that I think Toby’s dinner options are what are making me feel guilty, when in fact, it’s because I am thinking it’s wrong, and should be different and isn’t ok. 

And all of those thoughts are optional. 

So, since I don’t enjoy feeling guilty and I don’t like how I act when I feel guilty, I get to decide what I make Toby’s dinner mean. And I like this version way better. 

Toby ate cheerios and raisins for dinner. 

I think:

Toby loves eating cheerios and raisins. 

Which makes me feel:

Accepting

So I…

Sit with Toby while he eats, enjoy his company, love myself, don’t beat myself up or say negative things about me in my mind. 

And therefore: 

Create an enjoyable dining experience for Toby and I. As well as fully loving and accepting the mother I am the whole way through. 

The power of the mind I tell ya. 

We are all capable of creating our realities because we are in charge of what we make things mean.  

If this seems completely impossible for you, I get it. I get you. And I can help. Send me a message and let’s chat. Let’s band together and create a community of parents who get to experience their roles exactly as they want to. With love, compassion, and a whole lot of fun. 

xo