I was looking through some of my old notes on my phone today and came across an entry from May 18, 2018.
Feels like a long time ago and not that long ago all at the same time.
Here it is:
Things I don’t want...
⁃ To feel anxious
⁃ To be so focused on doing what is right
⁃ To keep thinking “but what if...”
⁃ To keep focusing on all the negatives rather than the positives - negative
thoughts are constantly popping into my head, worries, things to do, etc
⁃ To feel unsure of myself and out of control
⁃ To feel worried and scared about everything
⁃ To waste time with Toby being unhappy
⁃ To feel unable to cope, weak and dependent on other people
⁃ To feel unhappy being alone
⁃ To have Toby pick up my anxiety and be anxious himself
⁃ To be completely afraid of things changing and fall apart when they do
This particular note was written about 5 months after Toby was born and it’s so vivid in my mind how riddled with anxiety I felt. Many big changes, many big emotions and a big focus on all the things I didn’t want in my life.
Life felt really hard and although these thoughts and desires were running pretty high around this time, I know being in this place wasn’t new for me. It wasn’t the first time I was feeling like this. And it certainly wasn’t the first time I was searching for ways to feel better. But it seemed that no matter how many things I tried, I always ended up back in the same place.
Wishing to feel better. To feel happier.
I am glad I came across this note. I find it empowering to read things I wrote in the past. To see where I was and how far I have come.
Not only do I no longer write lists of things that I don’t want, or focus on all the things I don’t like about myself or my life, but I also don’t even have these desires anymore.
Not at all.
And that’s because my emotions and my brain don’t rule me anymore. They don’t rule my life anymore.
I am in charge of how I feel. I am in charge of what I experience in my life. I am in charge of all of it and it’s so damn empowering because I seriously never imagined this was possible for me. No matter how hard I searched and tried to find answers, I couldn’t find anything that worked for me. Anything that stuck.
But I have now. I have found the solution to no longer feeling the way I was feeling back in May of 2018.
To no longer be wishing for my life to be different. For me to be different.
And not only was it not that hard to do but it has stuck. I now have this skill for life.
And you can too.
If you’re feeling like me. If you’re wanting to feel better, have tried many things on your own but still find yourself wishing for things to be different for you, I 100% get you, understand and can help you.
Reach out to me at email@example.com or sign up on my Work with Me page. We will set up a time to chat and the rest will be history. The worst that can happen is you remain exactly where you are.
I love you all.
If you’re ready to eliminate anxiety and create the life you most desire then click the button below to get more information on my coaching programs & how to get started working together.