When I feel anxious, my go to is that something is wrong.
And it’s because of nothing else other than I have practised thinking that anxiety means something is wrong for a very long time.
Seems simple enough to adjust and start thinking something differently about the anxiety that I experience, but it’s not that easy for me.
Sometimes I notice myself getting my journal out with the underlying motive of “thoughtworking” myself out of feeling anxious.
If I can just get these thoughts out of my head and think something different, then the anxiety will go away and all can go back to the way I am supposed to feel.
Until it hit me.
I can’t ‘think’ myself out of my anxiety no matter how hard I try.
Seriously. I can’t. I’ve tried. Many times.
Because anxiety doesn’t want to be “thought” about. It just wants to be felt.
It just wants to be noticed. To be treated with love, acceptance and curiosity.
What it doesn’t want is to be told that it is not welcome here. That something is wrong with it.
Because when anxiety knows that it’s not wanted, it desires to be wanted even more.
Which makes it stronger
Kind of like when you go on a date with someone.
They like you. But you don’t like them.
They start calling and texting you and you don’t want to hear from them.
So you ignore them. You avoid them.
You think by ignoring them that they will get the hint and not call back.
But the opposite is true.
They call you more, they text you more, they just want you to respond to them.
The more you ignore them. The more they want you.
The same is true for anxiety.
When we don’t like it and we ignore its phone calls, it wants to get in touch with us even more.
Now this doesn’t mean you have to go on another date with anxiety, you don’t have to snuggle up with it and tell it how much you adore it.
And you definitely don’t have to fall in love with it.
Although, that would be kind of cool, wouldn’t it?
It’s okay to not like the anxiety you feel.
But when you kick it to the curb. When you treat it like it doesn’t exist.
Then it wants to be noticed even more.
When you acknowledge it, let it know that you see it, hear it and welcome it, then it is more likely to stop banging so loudly on your front door.
P.S. This silly mama has learned how to welcome anxiety into her life. Reach out to me when you're ready to try it too.
If you’re ready to eliminate anxiety and create the life you most desire then click the button below to get more information on my coaching programs & how to get started working together.