I shouldn't feel this way

My alarm goes off and in what feels like seconds, anxiety kicks in. It doesn’t feel good. Something feels really wrong. Something must be wrong with me. 

I wish I didn’t feel this way. 

I turn off my alarm and run through the day’s events and tasks. I get up, begin my morning routine and then... my beautiful son Toby wakes up, (not at the time I was planning for I might add ;)). “Oh great, my morning is going to be completely off track, I won’t be able to do what I had planned.” 

My anxiety worsens.

Toby’s adorable face greets me as I open the door to his room. I pick him up - his nose is running wild, he is coughing in my mouth and he doesn’t want his bum changed. I haven’t finished getting ready, my lunch isn’t made and I am scared I will be late for work. My anxiety is growing and I am noticing my mood is changing. It’s not even 7am and I find myself wanting to throw in the towel because I hate feeling this way.

This is a snapshot of a possible morning spent in my incredible brain. Upon reflection of these types of mornings, I realize that I have spent a lot of my adult life wishing I was different. Wishing I could feel better… feel happier… feel more in control of my emotions. I truly believed that if I could get rid of my anxiety then I would have found the answer. 

Here’s the thing: I have found the answer, for me, and to my surprise, it’s not what I expected. 

Anxiety, like all emotions, is a vibration in my body. When I pause and experience that vibration it is…

tightness in my chest

warmth in my face

tingling and buzzing in my arms and legs

And what feels like a hollow, empty tummy…

that’s it.

That’s not that big of a deal. I can totally handle that. 

What causes the pain for me is what I am making that vibration mean. 

When I am compassionate, open, and curious with myself, I notice these vibrations in my body and realize that the reason I am feeling anxious is because of what I am thinking…

I can’t do this. 

It’s too hard. 

There is too much to do. 

I hate feeling this way.

Something is wrong with me. 

I am behind schedule. 

I am not good enough. 

I don’t have enough time. 

I shouldn’t feel this way. 

I don’t know how.

Of course I am feeling anxious - look at what I am thinking. 

Get this - I thought that anxiety happened to me, it simply occured and I had no control over it. I now know and have personally experienced the revelation that my thoughts are what cause my anxiety and all of my emotions and my THOUGHTS, like ALL thoughts, are a CHOICE. Who knew?

A new thought I have been practising is:

I am experiencing anxiety and that is okay. I am okay. I am bringing you along with me anxiety, instead of resisting and pushing you away. 

What happens when I think this thought?

Instead of feeling powerless, I take my life into my own hands by thinking on purpose in order to feel and experience life the way I want.

Give it a try today. Get out of your head and go down into your body and truly experience your emotions. Write down what you are experiencing IN your body. Then download all of your thoughts onto paper - everything your brain is thinking - write it all down. Remind yourself that your feelings are caused by your thinking and you are in charge of your thoughts. 

You’ve got this. xo

If you’re ready to eliminate anxiety and create the life you most desire then click the button below to get more information on my coaching programs & how to get started working together.

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