Does worrying create more harm than good?

I used to be a worrier. 

I thought it was just the way I was. 

I thought I was born that way and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Until I realized the most insane thing ever. 

Worrying is optional. 

Worried is a feeling, and it comes from what I am thinking. 

It’s not in my DNA, it’s not just the way it is for me. 

It’s simply that for many years I practised thinking thoughts that made me feel worried.  

And the more I practised that way of thinking, the better I got at it. 

And I was really good at worrying. A+ kind of good. 

And that’s all fine, I wasn’t bad for worrying, it’s still 100% fine to worry, but because I now know that it’s optional, I am choosing to opt out of that way of thinking. 

Because it doesn’t serve me whatsoever. 

It keeps me spinning, what iffing, second guessing, changing my mind, and trying to control things outside of me.

Which isn’t the experience I want. 

It actually feels awful to worry. 

And if it feels awful to me, I have been wondering if it also feels awful to those I am worrying about.

What if worrying about others actually teaches them that they need to be worried about?

What if it subconsciously teaches them that they aren’t fully capable, they aren’t fully trusted or believed in?

That’s certainly not what we want for anyone we love. 

We want to empower, not worry. 

But it’s interesting because somewhere down the line we have been taught that worrying is somehow loving and caring and means protection. 

But what if none of that was true and worrying was creating more harm than good?

What if worrying about our children, over time, contributes to a lack of confidence in them. 

Because if they think my mom is worrying about me, there must be something to worry about. 

Super interesting. 

I don’t want to worry about Toby going to school in September or Ty starting daycare or anyone getting sick. I don’t want to worry about my future or their future.  

Because I would rather believe, trust and love. 

I can feel the difference in my bones when I think about my boys like this:

I believe in you. I trust you. I love you. 

vs. 

I worry about you. 

In a world where we want our children to feel strong and capable of achieving their wildest dreams, maybe worrying about them isn’t actually loving and caring afterall. 

And maybe, since it’s a choice, we want to trade it in for thoughts that create trust, belief and empowerment. If not only for ourselves but for our sweet sweet children too.  

xo

P.S. If you think you got the worrier gene like I did, please know you’re not alone. You’re normal. Way more normal than you think. 🙂 And it doesn’t have to be like that for you if you want something different. 

I can help you stop worrying so you can enjoy yourself, your children, and your life more than you ever thought possible. 

Don’t wait another minute. Stop worrying today and start living. I’ll be here when you’re ready.