Being home with our children at this time can feel many different ways for many different people.
Stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, as well as fun, joyful and entertaining. I personally love being home with Toby. Getting to spend extra time with him, watching him grow and learn and say the most hilarious things is very special and I am soaking it up. This doesn’t mean it’s easy - I am just choosing to focus on enjoying our time together.
Not only am I enjoying being witness to what he is learning but I am enjoying experiencing how he expresses his various emotions.
I notice that when he is upset because he can’t have or do something that he wants, he spits at us. I notice that when he is feeling excited and silly he runs around, spins in circles and smiles. And when he is sad because he hurt his knee, he cries.
I notice that when he is angry because it’s time to come inside after playing outdoors, he uses his hands to hit. And when he is feeling love he hugs, kisses and wants to be right up close to us.
It’s very interesting to see how he behaves when he is feeling different emotions. And being his mom it’s my job to not make one emotion ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the other.
This isn’t always easy, because we have been taught that happy is better than sad, calm is better than hyper. We have been taught not to be angry, or jealous or mad and instead to snap out of it, put on a smile and be happy.
My job as Toby’s mom is to put an end to this belief. I want to teach him that emotions aren’t good or bad, or right or wrong, but instead they are simply emotions. All neutral. All natural. And all because of what we are thinking.
This goes for all children.
I am excited to continue to watch Toby grow and see how he handles the different challenges and blessings that get thrown his way. I am excited to teach him that life is full of ups and downs and it’s all about our perspective that will make the difference in how we experience our lives. I am excited to teach him that happy, sad, mad, excited and angry are all normal.
How are your children handling being home full time? Are you noticing many different emotions coming up for them? How do you feel when they experience negative emotions?
The most important part for me when it comes to Toby and his negative emotions is for me to be able to manage my own brain because when he experiences pain and sadness my instinct is to fix it. By no means is this wrong. It’s natural for us to feel this way. But I believe my job as his mom is to allow him to navigate the experience, with my guidance and support, and to not try and take away his pain or solve his problems because then I rob him of learning how to process and allow his emotions.
Our children need us to teach them how to process and allow their emotions. They need us to be an example of what it means to understand emotions and where they come from. And they need to have us teach them that they are the ones creating all of their emotions and they never mean something is wrong with them.
If being home with your children you are noticing them experiencing a wide range of emotions and you feel you need help teaching them or helping them process, please reach out to me.
If you feel you need help managing your own mind around your child and their behaviour, please reach out to me.
If you notice your child feeling really anxious and stressed about their school work, being away from their friends, getting annoyed and frustrated with their siblings and you have run out of ideas on how to help, please reach out to me.
Our beautiful children need to be taught how to manage their emotions and I know exactly how to help. And I would love to.
Remember, whenever you or your children are experiencing negative emotions, remind yourself that nothing, absolutely nothing has gone wrong. You are all simply experiencing emotions, based on your thoughts and it’s completely normal.
Hang in there parents. You are doing a kick ass job. Every single day, you are rocking it.
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