But the doctor said so

I went to the doctor with Ty last week and the doctor said that he wasn’t gaining weight according to the way the growth chart says he should.

The advice was to start feeding him solids. And to feed him solids first and milk afterward.

Say what?

Are you for real?

That’s the opposite to what I have been told. And the opposite to what I did with Toby.  

Anyway, I heard this information and my brain was totally confused. 

Because on one hand, my brain was thinking that feeding solids before milk doesn’t make much sense to me based on my experiences but on the other hand, the doctor said it, so it must be true?

So I stayed confused for a bit.

Then I left and started feeling anxiety, doubt and shame. 

Because my brain offered me the ol’ “you’ve clearly been doing everything wrong” sentence. 

An all time fave I might add.

And then what I wanted to do was call all my friends to see what they thought. What they were doing. What they thought was the “right” thing to do. 

Which is something I have spent a lot of time doing in my life. Asking other people their opinions in order to help me with my opinion.

But then I remembered something. 

I know stuff too. 

I also know I can ask other people their opinions and that can be helpful, if I want to do what they are doing. 

But what tends to happen for me when I ask other people is I stay confused. I spin in indecision, not deciding on what to do because, even though I know what my friends are doing, I don’t know what I am doing. 

And you know why that happens? 

Because I didn’t ask ME first. 

I hear what the doctor says and I forget for a minute that I also know. 

I know that I want to feed Ty milk first and then solids after.
And I also know that the growth chart is confused about how much Ty should weigh. 

How freeing to know that I know too.

And the doctor knows. 

We both know. 

Based on our own knowledge and experience. 

And I even know that I can hear opinions and facts from doctors and consciously decide what to make them mean.

Either my baby isn’t growing well and I have f-ed it all up. 

Or my baby is growing perfectly, exactly as he “should”.

And I can do what I want to do next, based on what I want and what I believe. 

Even if it ends up being different from what the doctor says.

Because I know too. 

And so do you. 

If you find yourself asking many different people for their advice and opinions before you make a decision and then find yourself second guessing all the things and being more confused than when you started, it just might be because you haven’t asked YOU first. 

You know a lot of things. Way more than you are probably giving yourself credit for. 

So try asking you first. 

Your brain always has your answers.

PS. If you want to stop spinning in indecision, asking everyone for their advice. If you want to believe so deeply that you have the answers you’re looking for, send me a message. I can help you.  

But if you’re looking for another person in your life to tell you what to do, I am not her. Because I have no idea what you should do. What I think is irrelevant. It’s what you think that matters. And coaching with me enables you to believe that too. 

I have one coaching spot opening soon. I will be here when you’re ready. 

xo